some men fear women

[Sustacel250]

I am one of them.

When I was in the gym, a guy told us that he was fearful of women. Basically go to HS and a woman was into him, and he was afraid to go to school, he did everything to avoid her. Then he grew older and it all changed he started to chase women and didnt undersand what was there to fear.

In my case I never lost the fear. I mean it also happened to me. I noticed a woman was responding positively to my stunts and I was disrespecting teachers. I swear I didnt do it to impress any woman I was naturally being edgy, challenging teachers was my way to prove myself and I wanted to be a smartass teen nothing else. I was probably one of these teen tryhards with mild defiance of authority I didnt do it at all to impress bitches.

In any case this stupid bitch liked me. And she wasnt even bad looking, and this made me go panic mode. I did my best to avoid her stare, look the other way, didnt talk to her. Dismiss anything she says go elsewhere sometimes comically I go out of a group and go to the bathroom.

Happened to me other times. Like, in university. One big fear is I have no idea whatsoever what im supposed to say to a woman to make her interested or what should I do to initiate these normie rituals.

I know for example you are supposed to kiss a girl, but when, how shoudl it happen? I have no idea at all. Also, im embarrassed by my low status in society i got no media presence no socials. I wlil show all my inadequacies like i got no media presence, im antisocial I dont have friends nor I want them and I dont even seek them.

I always destroy these dumb motherfuckers who worship ecelebs, so will not be social anytime soon. I dont go to parties I have little to show for in this normie world. All I can show is what I draw, what I do with my hands or whatever I m cooking. I am embarrassed I cannot talk about relationship I cannot talk of gossip like normies do. I can talk about obscure politics and nazism on the internet and communist red brigades and so on. What I cannot do is be normal and follow these normie procedures where one thing leads to another.

So I think I always "sabotaged myself" if I have to use the language of the redpill. But I dont see it that way, this isnt sabotage. I really dont want to be like them. I am simply recognizing that women can corrupt me. And I must keep it under my control. If they impose on me a serie of normie practices I may as well kill myself now what is the point of living if you are a normie? So I do think I choose inceldom with a level of conscience. I know what im doing.