Chad Chaddington IV has been an accountant for the FBI for a number of years. HIs birthday's that day, though he typically keeps it to himself. He doesn't expect anyone to drop by today; it's just an afternoon of booze, gaming and maybe a visit from one of his FWBs.
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. It's some agents from work! And they have a cake. With them are a couple lady agents that he used to bang in the past (well, bang more, anyway). It's probably time to open that triple-malt whiskey he's been saving.
Meanwhile, someone more like us is at home. He recently commented online about ER taking flight lessons. Maybe some memes along those lines as well. He likewise doesn't expect any of his friends to drop by. He probably wouldn't get in trouble for that; all the time, he heard about guys getting no jail time for rape, murder, or perjury. Suddenly, BANG BANG BANG!!! "Open up, asshole!" Who in the hell could that be?
The FBI busts in, armed agents with their guns out. "YOU! WE'RE TAKING YOU IN! And also your phone, computer, and other devices... by the way, are you hiding any drugs in your ass?"
"Uh, no!", the guy answered.
"Well, we've got a cavity search lined up for you." They shoot his dog on the way out.